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 Alfred E. Neuman's Profile |
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What, Me Worry? |
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| Age: | 52 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | Ny, NEW YORK |
| Country: |  United States |
| Height: | 6' 0" |
| BodyType: | Slim / Slender |
| Zodiac: |  Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) |
| Last Login: | May 27, 2008 (567 days back) |
| I am Here For Friends. | |
About Me |
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| Some of my favorite quotes:
"Smoking helps you lose weight -- one lung at a time!"
"Today, if you ask a car dealer to let you see something for 10 grand, he'll show you the door!""Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!""Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!""Thank's to the new welfare bill, the question "Paper or plastic?" now refers to many American's sleeping arrangements!""In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!""Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!""If opera is entertainment, then falling off a roof is transportation!""A college jock is someone who minds his build instead of vice versa!""The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!""Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places!""How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?""It takes one to know one -- and vice versa!""Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!""Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults!""A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!""How come we choose from just two people for President, and fifty for Miss America?""Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day!""You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!""Blood is thicker than water... but it makes lousy lemonade!""The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!""A plastic surgeon's office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!" Myspace Editor Pimp MySpace |
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My Interests |
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Music:Rutles, Jethro's toe, Steely Span, Stone Temple Co-pilots, Rolling Stonies, Blood Sweat and Beers, Dean Martini, |
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Movies:It's a Mad Mad Mad World, Mad Max, Up The Academy |
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Television:Mad TV,Mad About You |
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Books:Mad MagazineSo forget Plato, forget Shakespeare, forget Whitman -- just like you used to forget them during exams! Just remember Neuman! He's got a philosophy even you can live by!The creme de la creme d'Alfredo -- The best quotes from forty glorious years of MAD magazine's Alfred E. Neuman"Most people don't act stupid -- it's the real thing!""A wedding ring is like a tourniquet -- it cuts off your circulation!""A lawyer is someone who writes an eighty-page document and calls it a brief!""It's astonishing how politicians never say anything, yet always insist they're being misquoted!" |
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Heroes:Kelly Freas,Harvey Kurtzman,Bill Gaines,Jack Davis,Mort Drucker,Don Martin,Fester Bestertester, Karbuncle,Sergio Aragones,Al Jaffee,Charlie Kadau,Dave Berg, Plato? Ick! Shakespeare? Ecch!! Walt Whitman? Feh!!! |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Single |
| Ethnicity: | White / Caucasian |
| SexualOrientation: | Straight |
| Occupation: | Cover boy |
My Pictures |
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My Blog |
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Memorial Day Remembrance |
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| Memorial Day 2008. Memory of our honored dead. Also known as Decoration Day if you didn't know. Remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service.
I stand tall.... fingers to forehead.... a... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Sat, 24 May 2008 06:24:00 PST |
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The Future is Bright! Really! |
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| You ever have one of those days when the computer goes on the fritz? Myspace freezes up? You put twenty dollars in the tank and it's just enough to get you a block or two? There's not enough room in t... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Sat, 17 May 2008 07:07:00 PST |
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Just Being an Old Fart Again |
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| It was a rough night last night folks. Writing this blog is going to be a task. So hang in there with me please. Yes...I said please. Then again it's always been a task.
Stayed up last night watching... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Sun, 11 May 2008 06:54:00 PST |
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Kentucky Derby Horse Puckey! |
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| To heck with the java this morning! I'm drinking a Mint Julep baaaaaby! Ah yeah! It's Derby time folks. Nice cool breeze, drink in hand, racing form by my side, good lookin' ladies and the smell of h... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Sat, 03 May 2008 06:34:00 PST |
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Myspace Blah |
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| Sorry for the delay on my weekly blog. But my notebook thing-a-ma-jig wasn't working correctly. So I'm actually going free lance. That means plenty of misspelled words and buffoonery. So what else is ... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 03:52:00 PST |
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Another Masterpiece Blog. Bleeeeech! |
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| Here I am sipping my java....my java....my java. Eating Krispie Creamers....Krispie Creamers.... Krispie Creamers. What the heck is going on here? Am I having some type of time warp? A rare disease ca... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Sun, 13 Apr 2008 08:25:00 PST |
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Technical Difficulties! Yeah Right! |
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| Due to technical difficulties and diarrhea, compulsive vomiting, minstrel cramps and cold feet Alfred will not post a blog this week. If these symptoms persist we will keep you informed. Aren’t ... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Mon, 07 Apr 2008 05:14:00 PST |
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Resolutions? Bleeeeech! |
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| Alfred E. Neuman here. As if you didn’t know. It’s march and I don’t think I’ve lived up to not one of my New Year’s Resolutions. Let’s run them down.New Year&rsquo... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 04:59:00 PST |
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GAS! |
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| A night of chili, bean burrito’s, pizza, beer and yes broccoli. I’m doubled over. Stomach is in knots. Oh my! Oooooooh the pain! "FFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT"! Ahhhhhhhhhh..... relief!
But wha... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 06:07:00 PST |
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Ralph Nader’s Wallet |
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| The heat is on in the big canidate race. We have Mr. McCain who looks like he needs to be ironed and in need of a good massage. Little tight looking eh? Huckabee Hound has now dropped out so it's smoo... Posted by Alfred E. Neuman on Sat, 08 Mar 2008 07:00:00 PST |
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My Friends |
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Alfred E. Neuman, MAD MAGAZINE PRESENTS spy vs spy, Mad About You, Dick, Geoff Taylor, James, Tartan Wallet, HEFF - that's my name, don't wear it out, James, Happiness Follows The Crazy, Alfred, alan, H. Barry Z - Beamed out of my Mind, MAD...AND LOVING IT, Alfred E. Neuman, MadMind, MADtv, The Typhoons, Miss_Fonebone, WACKY PACKAGES STICKERS, Q, Rachel Baugh, *tammy*, Pino's Chumley's Chum!, Denise, Rita, ~ fran ~, Kewp, Max (Poor-Bull), the lil mrs. garbledunkle, Pomeroy!, Thor Thunderhorn, Shawn, jeff, Master Hunglo™, Sir Henry Chuckabutty, Doctor Wu, Just Friends 4, B-Movie Babe, PeePee Pals, wade reed, ~Green Shoes~, Karin, Micheal, ! *dA PlAyA*!*^, Alfred E. Neuman, Carole █♥█, *R*O*N*, Cooney & Eliot, Roses4T, sKILLZ, Marg, BASMATI, Linda Gambino, The Riff Bangers, Louise, Al Dente, *BabyGirl*, Head Case Radio, ღtikklღ iz uǝddılɟ chipz, the CageSpace,(an Official Fansite)™© [[1K]], The Cupid Kinkyboots Fan Club, Margo, Art at the Ship, Virginia, ♥ Deb!, Ladrhiana, S-A-S-S-Y, PEARLS FOR PIGS
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Tags |
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Alfred E. Neuman's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. alfred e neuman, college jock, mad mad mad world, blood sweat and beers, mad mad world, pimp myspace, prison inmates, welfare bill, new welfare, blood is thicker than water, narrow waist, question paper, sleeping arrangements, thicker than water, ill at ease, life of crime, miss america, stone temple, balanced diet, mad max |
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