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 Andrea's Profile |
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| Age: | 33 years old |
| Sex: | Female |
| Location: | Chicago, ILLINOIS |
| Country: |  United States |
| Height: | 5' 6" |
| BodyType: | Slim / Slender |
| Zodiac: |  Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22) |
| Last Login: | Nov 15, 2007 (761 days back) |
About Me |
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| I am somewhere near the top of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I operate on the assumption that all people are basically good. This gets me into more trouble than I care to discuss. I'm too smart for my own good. I try to fix stuff that isn't broken. I'm a sucker for straight teeth and big hands. I defrauded the federal government. I am an ordained minister. I used to review pornography for money. I weep openly at sad movies, sad songs, sad tv commercials... I once slept with a goat in my bed for three weeks (for artistic purposes). I'm crazy for the Banjo. I have an unnatural fascination with hillbillies. I don't sleep very well or very often. I have no patience for the elderly. I like cowboy hats. I am constantly apologizing for making inappropriate remarks to people who love me. I often eat food that is cold because I can't be bothered to heat it up. I also drink milk straight from the carton. I've never stolen anything really valuable but, under the right circumstances, I would. I like to shoot guns. I'm currently learning to play the guitar. I'm not getting any better and my fingertips are constantly numb. I lie about my age. I don't take any crap from Filipinos. I'm not overly crazy about poetry or people who refer to themselves as "poets". I'm vain. I lose my keys everyday. I take the marijuana. I collect robots and people who are broken. Sadly, this is all true. But, I guess the most important thing to know about me is that no matter what I do or say, in each of my endeavours. . . when you get right down to it. . . I'm only in it for the cock. | |
My Interests |
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| I like driving around, bad movies, red meat, dive bars, art, Las Vegas, Budweiser in the can, road trips, taking the bus, sleeping on the couch, room service, prison rodeos, coffee, spontaneous unicornism, lipgloss, jukeboxes, kissing, robots, tv dinners, the 3rd law of thermodynamics, upsetting Christians, old cars, hotel bars, phenylethylamine, Irish soap operas, library books, laundromats, my friends, big ideas, cocktail napkins, cemetaries, Phil Hendrie, goats, theater, Ira Glass, the Andrea and Hep Show, clean air, high heels, dog races, romantic gestures, my kid brother and key lime pie. | |
I'd like to meet:My real father. |
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Music:My favorite song of all time is "Dancing in the Moonlight" by King Harvest. Everything else is just gravy. |
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Movies:The Outsiders, Mary Poppins, Niagra Niagra, Godfather, Fast Times, American Movie, Heavy Metal Parking Lot, Breaking Away, Smokey and the Bandit, Both Witch Mountain Movies (Escape From and Return To), Moonstruck, American Hollow, Run Ronnie Run, The Graduate, Lolita, Willy Wonka and countless others. |
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Television:THE OFFICE (BBC), LOST, Wonder Showzen, Freaks and Geeks, The Knife Show, Arrested Development, Travel Sick, Dusty's Treehouse, Daily Show, Top Chef, Black Books, but the League of Gentlemen is probably my favorite tv show ever (thanks Yannick)... |
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Books:THE WEEK, Portnoy's Complaint, The Toy Collector, Catcher in the Rye, A Prayer for Owen Meaney, STIFF, The Neon Bible, Pimp, Anything by Sedaris or Franken, Go Dog Go, and Rod McKuen's "Listen to the Warm"...okay, not really. But it's fun to say. |
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Heroes:George Washington Carver. Why?! The man discovered over 100 different uses for the sweet potato. What have you done lately, fuckhead? |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | In a Relationship |
| Ethnicity: | White / Caucasian |
| SexualOrientation: | Straight |
| Hometown: | Diamond Bar, CA |
| Religion: | Agnostic |
| Smoker: | No |
| Drinker: | Yes |
| Children: | Undecided |
| Education: | College graduate |
| Occupation: | I type. A lot. |
My Pictures |
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My Blog |
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Poor Tookie |
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| Yesterday I waited all day to find out what Stan Tookie Williams was going to choose for his last meal. I thought it might be fried chicken. (And not because he's black either, but because... Posted by Andrea on Tue, 13 Dec 2005 07:18:00 PST |
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King of Kings, Jerk of Jerks |
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| RepentAmerica.com, the website where Godfearing Americans can log-on and sit in judgment of those of us who dont love Jesus, posted a press release a few days ago which suggests that perha... Posted by Andrea on Mon, 05 Sep 2005 08:50:00 PST |
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We're going to need more soap |
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| I just wanted to take a moment to talk about these new Dove Soap ads with the overweight women in their underwear. I hate these ads. Truly. They make me feel uncomfortable, and ... Posted by Andrea on Sat, 27 Aug 2005 12:26:00 PST |
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dealing with the crazy |
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| Today is day three without any sleep. Well, that's not exactly true. I clocked in 3 hours this afternoon before the crazy Filipino lady next door started in with her goddamn chatter. But I can't re... Posted by Andrea on Tue, 16 Aug 2005 05:00:00 PST |
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What the Fuck?! |
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| How the fuck did Rush Limbaugh, Dr. Phil and that idiot Tom Cruise get on the list of the 25 Greatest Americans?!?!
Fuck you, Discovery Channel. You whore. Posted by Andrea on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
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We're Here and We're Queer |
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| I went to the Gay Pride parade today. Here is part of a conversation I overheard:
A: Hey, are you wearing your cock-ring?
B: Oh, shit. No. I left it in my coat.
A: Oh, well. Don't worry. You can get ... Posted by Andrea on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
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A Word About Booty Calls |
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| You don't have to call me after midnight and ask what I'm doing. I know why you're really calling and the answer is "No". Trust me, if I wanted to have sex with you, you'd be the first to ... Posted by Andrea on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
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Dogs are NOT people |
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| The following is a transcript of an actual telephone conversation I had with my mother a few weeks ago:
Me: Hiya Mom. How's it going?
Mom: Awful. Your brother peed all over the new sofa and ... Posted by Andrea on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
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Spanglish |
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| Holy Christ, what a fucking piece of shit movie. Posted by Andrea on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
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The Star Maker |
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| For some inexplicable reason, sexual contact with me can (and quite possibly will) result in artistic success. I know what you're thinking, please let me explain. According to me, men who have been in... Posted by Andrea on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST |
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My Friends |
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jimmyZ, jimmy, Josh Gates, Brian, Hep, JCB, Alena, Terri, Otra Nina, DEAN-O!!!!!, Jazkitten, Drunktown, The Jimmy, Robert, aussie bee, Maya, Heather, christopher ward, Chief Gillespie, Erin, Mike, KE, Cricket, Yannick Lord - Photography, Kelly Deez!, Michael, kate, Joseph Anastasi, Tisha, Laugh For Sight, Hope, laura, Shannon, Taylor, Jason, Rebecca, Shane Alexander
Andrea has 135 friends (37 shown). Click here to add Andrea as a friend. |
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Tags |
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Andrea's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. diamond bar ca, maslows hierarchy of needs, hierarchy of needs, agnostic religion, sad tv, sad songs, straight female, inappropriate remarks, cant be bothered, artistic purposes, straight teeth, cowboy hats, pornography, money, love, ordained minister, big hands, hillbillies, weep, banjo |
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