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 The Piranha Sister's Profile |
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Cram it, Sucko. |
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| Age: | 26 years old |
| Sex: | Female |
| Location: | Humbletown , VIRGINIA |
| Country: |  United States |
| Zodiac: |  Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) |
| Last Login: | Jun 27, 2007 (468 days back) |
About Me |
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| I was born with a tail! If I had been born in India, I would have been worshiped as the Monkey God like that kid, instead of having it cut off and scorned as a genetic freak. But such are the vagaries of fate. The worst part is that I can't get angry and change into a giant, golden ape anymore. If you would like to learn more, please visit your local library, or click below to enjoy a web log randomly selected from my extensive collection. With over a hundred from which to choose, the fun never ends until you're done with them all. After that, it can get repetitive. |
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My Interests |
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| Oh, hello there. You startled me. I'm Humble B. Wonderful, a mild internet curiosity. I like video games and figuring out ways to get money without working. Losing limbs while on the job seems to be my most successful effort, but I'm always on the look out for more. In that vein, I humbly ask that you use my internet links. I have an affiliate account over at Amazon.com (look around for some links)and have put some comical T-shirts up on Cafe Press . In return for your business, I write silly stories which you may read at your leisure. Anyway, the important thing is to give me lots and lots of money. | |
I'd like to meet:Someone who doesn't send me an email that looks like he decided to forego the use of his fingers while typing, and has decided to have a monkey shit all over his keyboard instead.Humble B. Wonderful's Sponsors If you buy T-shirts at Cafe Press I will like you better. Way better. $5 better. Or, if you would rather I get a commission on purchases you were already going to make, use the Amazon and Google links to make that purchase. I would be ever so grateful.   Acquire anything at all at Amazon.com! Note: in answer to your questions, you actually have to spend money there for me to get a cut. I don't get paid per click. For you international buyers, whom I love so dearly, click "international" at the top of Amazon's menu bar to find your country's site. The Sum of All Humbles |
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Music:MC Chris, Tenacious D, Tom Waits, Stephen Lynch, Magnetic Fields, White Stripes, Gilbert & Sullivan, Jelly Roll Morton, David Bowie is pretty good, other stuff, I guess. Know what, I'm not really much of a music person. Oh! I like that Jesus Christ Superstar thing, that was pretty cool. It's like I don't know where to go to find good music. I know there are music shows, and every jerk with an opinion thinks he knows who the best band is, but he's just another trendy nerd, and I really can't be associated with the MTV crowd. Also there are those music geeks with the funny glasses who say they know everything there is to know about music and that every popular band ever in the history of the world is crap unless they've been dead for 30 years. I can't be around those people for long without having fantasies involving sharp objects and scraggly unshaven throats. So when people ask me if I like music, I say "No." DO NOT SEND ME LINKS TO YOUR BAND. I HATE YOUR BAND AND WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. YOUS GUYS ARE TERRIBLE. I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT. I DO NOT "SUPPORT" YOU, NOR WILL I VOTE FOR YOU. NOW, BACK OFF UNLESS IT IS YOUR DESIRE TO TASTE THE STING OF MY BLADE, AND BY "TASTE THE STING OF MY BLADE" I MEAN "FLAG YOU FOR SPAM." |
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Movies:Rosencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead, Cancer Babies, Wes Anderson, Animal Crackers, Murder at the Super Bowl, Revenge of the Killer Cyborg Clones, the one about the hero and the girl, and he's like fighting the bad guy, and the bad guy's about to win, and he can't do it, but then oh he does it, that's awesome! Then there's the one about the repressed guy and the free spirit girl, and she's so wacky and up-beat and he's too dour and down-beat and you think "man, they are never going to get together" but then the down-beat guy triumphs over the jerky guy and the guy and girl are love. Oh it's magic. Then she dies and he has learned something important like cancer is bad or something and everybody's emotions are sad and happy at the same time. Plus, one of them was rich. |
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Television:I love those cartoons that aren't your normal cartoons, oh no, they are adult cartoons. 'Cause you know I enjoyed cartoons as a child, but as I grew older they didn't appeal to me, so these new ones are perfect. They have jokes that speak to me and my demographic. They have humor based on common archetypes and cliches, you know, really sticking it to the non-creative shitheads of yesteryear. |
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Books:Dating & Relationship Advice MySpace Layouts |
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Heroes:Julius Caesar, Craig Bierko (so dreamy!), Oliver Cromwell, Penn Jillette |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Single |
| Income: | Less than $30,000 |
My Pictures |
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My Blog |
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Today's best conversation |
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| "Would you like a brochure on animal cruelty?""What kind of animal cruelty?""We want to stop the inhuman experiments on nat--""Pffft. Never mind, then."Still got it! Posted by The Piranha Sister on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 10:15:00 PST |
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Paul Bunyan |
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| I was scrolling through some old files the other day and I found a few paragraphs I wrote about Paul Bunyan. I can't remember why I wrote it, other than a bizarre need to really stick it to a fictiona... Posted by The Piranha Sister on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 11:28:00 PST |
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Someone has to make a stand |
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| A bunch of lame schools are requiring young girls to be vaccinated with a potentially live-saving vaccine that will protect them from cervical cancer for all time. You've probaby read about it in the ... Posted by The Piranha Sister on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 08:11:00 PST |
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What's all this then? |
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| Every time I whimsically change my name, I receive a bunch of querulous emails asking why. Nobody likes the name or understands it, except for Vincent of course, but he's either&nb... Posted by The Piranha Sister on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 05:26:00 PST |
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Porn Reviews |
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| Synopsis: Naked people fucking.My grade: B+Synopsis: Naked people fucking. My grade: C-Synopsis: Naked people fucking. My grade: DSynopsis: Naked people fucking. My grade: B-Synopsis: A gripping tale ... Posted by The Piranha Sister on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 04:29:00 PST |
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Junk Mail Literature |
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| As anybody with the Internet would, I get loads of awful crap sent to me by strangers. Mostly it's people trying to sell me antidepressants and boner pills, which if you have one, you don't need the o... Posted by The Piranha Sister on Thu, 25 Jan 2007 04:04:00 PST |
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The Same True Meaning of Thanksgiving |
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| As Thanksgiving approaches, Americans gather together with their families and use the time as a way to remember all the good things in their lives. Plus, the food ain't bad, either (yuk, yuk). But in ... Posted by The Piranha Sister on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 12:00:00 PST |
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A "Worst Date Ever" Radio Play Production |
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| A time ago a young internet shock talk jockey from the BFN intenet radio net-o-works approached me about adapting my Worst Date Ever blog into a audio thing to which listeners can listen, but readers ... Posted by The Piranha Sister on Sun, 08 Oct 2006 01:52:00 PST |
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If it smells like fish eat it... |
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| I was stuck behind a Ford truck today. It had a curious bumper sticker that read:"If it smells like fish eat it." -Jim's RestaurantThis bugged the crap out of me.A) It's a sentence frag... Posted by The Piranha Sister on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:26:00 PST |
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My Theory As To Why The Carlos Mencia Show Sucks So Bad |
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| I've seen Carlos Mencia's stand-up special. He isn't bad. He's no Eddie Izzard or Emo Philips, but he doesn't stink. It was similar to his show, but he would occasionally establish a premise or argue ... Posted by The Piranha Sister on Tue, 05 Sep 2006 06:41:00 PST |
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My Friends |
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Jeff, Jayne, Smammy Thunderpants, Eexlebots, Vincent!, Robert, Tim Heidecker, ALINA ALI BRAHM, The Surfside IV, Dan Cohen, Johnny on the spot with it, Lenaisis sinNosferatu, Tedziu Michalowski, Never The Nines, Dicky Sparx, Finbar, Carmine Giorgio De ZiFranco IV, Dickie Gamble, Deville Throttle, Kshatriya, ARIANNE, ~ ROYAL RENEGADE ~, Jordan, Sarah, Clouded, SUSPICIOUS CLOWNS, ♥extraordinary machine♥, Don Spielbergo, True D, Aaron, Ace Hunter, El Graphico Bandito, Junebug, Dolly, Icky Thump's like a Got Day M Truck, Tolu, Joshua, Chris, Sinclair Daly, Rev. Arturo Royal (Self Titled), Jim, Uncle Samurai, Celebrity Pharmacist, postmodern, Soulslider, Aaaaaaron, dodinsky, Sandbag Brad, ted, Matthew, POP DESTROYER, Benny Jink, justin, The names Dj, Adam Goldstein
The Piranha Sister has 37,578 friends (55 shown). Click here to add The Piranha Sister as a friend. |
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Tags |
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The Piranha Sister's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. monkey god, google links, amazon, email, buy t shirts, golden ape, click international, paid per click, genetic freak, affiliate account, born with a tail, fun never ends, international buyers, amazons, countrys, forego, vagaries, spend money, humbly, local library, myspace layouts, relationship advice, wes anderson, rosencrantz and gildenstern are dead, sting, blade, cancer, cliches, guy triumphs, jerky guy, popular band, music geeks, killer cyborg, sharp objects, spirit girl, funny glasses, sad and happy, down beat |
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