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 Conrad's Profile |
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I'll hand out an ass kicking for $2. |
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| Age: | 81 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Country: |  Australia |
| Zodiac: |  Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20) |
| Last Login: | Jun 18, 2007 (523 days back) |
About Me |
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| I have no idea about these goddammed computers. I once carved a novel on a Bolivian prositutes arse with a pocket knife and they still accepted it at the publishers. That how Orwell wrote 1984. I'm writer and a womaniser. I represented the USA in the 1960 Olympics in the sport of ranting. I will get my revenge on every Bolivian prostitute one day. Thats all you need to know. I once fucked Marilyn Monroe and Jessica Tandy at the same time while a mexican house boy fed me opium through a series of house pipes. Oh jesus....I've pissed myself. | |
My Interests |
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| Getting blind. Pissing my pants. I'm really interested in that. | |
I'd like to meet:A bottle of scotch. |
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Music:Nah |
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Movies:Any of the fill-ums from Canberra and Bring It On. |
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Television:The Panasonic 22" Flat screen takes a bullet better than any other television on the market |
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Books:I write them. I don't read em. |
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Heroes:Oliver Reed. Mel Gibson. Hugh Grant.Magget Man (if he picks his game up, the nancy ass) |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Single |
| Children: | I don't want kids |
My Pictures |
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My Blog |
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Cease and Desist JWB |
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| Remeber a few years ago that guy John Wayne Bobbit got his prick cut off by his wife? Well, I helped that guy out and now he is bad mouthing me. Because he had no cock to call his own, I sent over my ... Posted by Conrad on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 01:29:00 PST |
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I'm running for President |
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| It's true folks. After being idle, not writing this bullshit blog for months, I have decided I am just as qualified and pissed enough to run for US president in 2008. I am pissed off Bush won't b... Posted by Conrad on Tue, 15 May 2007 11:53:00 PST |
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My Appearance on 20 to 1 May Not Go To Air |
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| The other day I was flown to Melbourne to be one of those dribbling fuckwads on Bert Newton's 20 to 1. Now, the only reason I went is because Bert owes me a bottle of red from the time he bet me I cou... Posted by Conrad on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 03:51:00 PST |
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What the fuck is wrong with charity? |
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| I get a phone call the other day on a public phone in Musgrave Park from these guys who are organising a benefit for charity.
"Mr VanHorton, can you come speak at our pissant benefit for charity"
"Wha... Posted by Conrad on Sun, 25 Feb 2007 04:22:00 PST |
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Conrad's Biggest Rant of the Year!!! |
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| Howdy fuckers!
Its so god damn hot. And I cant take my parker off because I have no where to store it. Now usually when I get hot, I just piss myself and the problem is solved. But piss is usually bod... Posted by Conrad on Wed, 24 Jan 2007 09:05:00 PST |
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I Piss All Over 2006 |
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| Here's my take on 2006. 365 days in the year. 1095 times I pissed my pants. And that's about it. Nothing more exciting than that. Okay, I'll stop bullshitting.
I was asked to do this blog in Septemb... Posted by Conrad on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 11:09:00 PST |
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Merry Pissmas |
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| I'm not one for sentiment, so you don't get any here. Usually I would just say fuck the lot of you because you don't care that I am wearing one shoe and I don't care that you have a strain of VD.
So ... Posted by Conrad on Sun, 24 Dec 2006 04:30:00 PST |
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Stupid Article About Me That Appeared In the Weekend Section |
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| I really fuckin hate journo's. They are bottom feeding idiots who like to hide in bushes waiting for Lindsay Lohan to do something stupid. Like breathe. So I get a call at a public phone booth from th... Posted by Conrad on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 10:53:00 PST |
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One Note Character |
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| I have been called a one note charcter by certain members of the press. That is bullshit. I have two notes. Pissing myself and Bolivian prostitues. TWO NOTES. So if you dont accept that, fuck you. Posted by Conrad on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 07:01:00 PST |
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So Where Have I Been? |
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| Haven't posted for a while because I've been in the tank. That's jail if you are a moron. Seems they have a charge for not wearing pants. Indecent exposure. In Bolivia if you wear pants you get arrest... Posted by Conrad on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 02:05:00 PST |
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My Friends |
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Ricky Champagne, Junior, Dru, Sweet FA, Green Army, Kevin, Chicken Fat, Matt Okine, Magget Man, ChloE, Burley, BADGANG, prettyguns, Thou shalt count to 3, ¡¡marlow!!, McIntyre, Bob, Punxie, Barry "The Cougar" Dawson, the ok cowboys, the o.k. cowboys brisbane, Sandi, Jai, Trekker, lowercase j, BeardMonth, Brian STRAIN, Wanth, Lauren
Conrad has 58 friends (29 shown). Click here to add Conrad as a friend. |
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Tags |
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Conrad's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. jessica tandy, magget, oliver reed, mel gibson, 1960 olympics, womaniser, pocket knife, hugh grant, flat screen, marilyn monroe, opium, orwell, scotch, canberra, arse, conrad, prostitute, pipes |
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